a date with my-self pity

Uncertain but here
Fingers typing
Mind tripping
An insecure man

Sure confusion
Forehead sweating
Eyes saddening
A frustrated man

Nervously calm
Legs vibrating
Neck breaking
A death wish

Restless in peace
Lungs gasping
Heart tightening
It’s all coming true

Hipster Coffee

Listening to random words
Can’t help but partake
The coffee is a heart stimulant
And the ears are always open
Even when the mind is closed

Black girl whose lawyering
Hong Kong dude is an alchemist whore
And I a Filipino day tripper
What an underachiever!
But high on ego and mental uproar

I sip from a recycable cup
My heart volumed to an upbeat
Thoughts razed without aim
Mac covered faces
Ahhhh … hipsterland coffee shop

Nobody seems famished in spirit
Frail bodies are a total give away
Dilemma of the modern times
Soul searching on a high
Another three dollar wake up

sun

The sun has come out of its shyness. It has brought out the life in me. The warmth on my skin brings me to the old familiar when i walked the humidity of the Philippines. The heat is fueling the fire that's within me and although my cold uncertainty has extinguished the passion from the cold winters that my life has been, I will lay my hands to its heat and stir up a luke warm state of being. There is no doubt that it helped me calm down a little. The sun has tented me from moments when my needy heart longs for the warmth of love and affection. I will walk with warm hugs once again.

I am indeed getting over a winter hangover that has left me drunk. I was alone and self indulged and even as i share moments with souls like me i had pushed them aside because it has to be me on the center stage and they are mere audiences. The signs are on but nobodies clapping. I am my own show and it was painful watching myself drowning into my own disbelief. I am stranded amongst all, i forgot to breathe properly because everything is a nervous anticipation of the next failure that i am starring in. Why should it always be a tragedy?

But the sun, it shines on for me, us and those before us. It invites me to play. It makes me laze around the grass and hear what goes on around me. It rubs me the right way. Like a soft feather on your cheek, a hand running through your hair or sweet nothings whispered in you ear.

Now that i remember how it is. I will capture the sun's rays in a bottle keep it warm in my heart and let the warmth grow by sharing it's warmth. To give is to receive. I will open it and have sips of it during my life's winters griefs.